


It's a Dump Site, Not a Bar

by TalkMagically



Series: Murder Boyfriends [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Background Sabriel, Discussion Of Murder, M/M, hints at dom!Michael, hints at sub!Lucifer, mentions of Gabriel - Freeform, mentions of Raphael - Freeform, mentions of Sam Winchester - Freeform, serial killer!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 05:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13733934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkMagically/pseuds/TalkMagically
Summary: This was Lucifer's spot to use as a body dump. His. So why the hell is someone else suddenly appearing, also with a body to dump?





	It's a Dump Site, Not a Bar

Lucifer panted as he dragged the body deeper into the forest. Why was he always the one stuck on body dumping duty? It wasn’t like Gabriel was unable to carry the weight. The fucker just didn’t want to miss a single episode of ‘his stories.’

“They’re on the goddamn DVR,” Lucifer muttered under his breath as he paused to take another breather.

Lucifer thought about the man who currently lay wrapped in a garbage bag at his feet. This one had been a favor, at Gabriel’s insistence. ‘The fucker won’t leave Samalamb alone!’ Gabriel had argued. Lucifer shook his head as he looked down at the body and scoffed.

“You really should have left him alone, Gordon,” Lucifer said. Bracing himself, Lucifer gripped the rope tighter and began dragging the body again.

Several minutes later, Lucifer was looking over the edge of the ravine. It was in a section of the forest that no one would dare venture into this time of the year because of all the animal activity. Lucky for Lucifer, he kept bear mace on him at all times.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” a voice called out from behind Lucifer, followed by the loud thump of something heavy being dropped.

Lucifer turned around in shock, his hand flying to the gun holstered to his hip, and froze when he registered the sight in front of him. A tall, dark haired man with a body of his own, this one wrapped in some type of cloth that looked suspiciously like bed sheets.

“Popular place, ain’t it?” Lucifer commented. It was difficult to get a sense on why the other man also had a dead body, and Lucifer wasn’t willing to say anything that could trigger an attack. There was no way Gabriel would get to him in time if he was shot or stabbed and began to bleed out.

“You can say that again. I’d ask what are you doing here, but that seems to be obvious,” the man said, his eyes briefly glancing down at the body next to Lucifer.

“Be that as it may, multiple people using the same dump site isn’t in anyone’s best interest. So just skedaddle along and find someplace else,” Lucifer said, making a shooing motion with one hand.

“My ass I’m dragging this body any further. This fucker has the density of a dying sun,” the man hissed. “I’d rather keep my back intact, thank you very much.”

“Whelp,” Lucifer started. He inhaled sharply and used his foot to push Gordon backwards towards the edge of the ravine, letting gravity take Gordon the rest of the way over once enough of the body was past the edge. Lucifer took a few deep breaths from the effort and gave the other man a smirk as they both listened to Gordon hit the bottom of the ravine.“It’s really out of my hands, now.”

“You’re a beat cop, aren’t you? No one else is as much a pain in my ass as you fuckers are, and that’s saying something,” the man snapped.

Lucifer blinked a few times. There was no way Lucifer was admitting to this stranger that he was right about Lucifer’s vocation. However, it did offer Lucifer a hint about the man’s own life. Very few professions considered police officers trouble to deal with. Lucifer squinted his eyes to help him get a good look at the man’s face in the dark of the night. Recognition grew on Lucifer’s face, and he muttered out a swear.

“Michael Shurley. Mind telling me what the fucking D.A. is doing with a dead body in the middle of the fucking forest?” Lucifer finally spoke up.

“Arguing over whether or not I get to dump it here!” Michael yelled.

“If you honestly think the assholes in homicide won’t have a field day with finding two separate bodies from two separate murders dumped together, then be my guest! Throw it over the edge!” Lucifer yelled back.

“So you are a cop!” Michael exclaimed, a smug smirk growing on his face. Lucifer sighed and looked at Michael for a few moments, judging what to say next. They both could incriminate each other. It wasn’t like Lucifer had much to fear now that he knew who the man was.

“Officer Lucifer Landerson, District 7,” Lucifer offered in an even tone. “There, now we both know who each other is.”

Michael let out a scoff and turned his attention to the body still at his feet. A scowl appeared on his face before he suddenly kicked it as hard as he could, causing Lucifer to take half a step back.

“Don’t worry about a damn thing. I’m not stupid enough to take on an armed police officer,” Michael said when he noticed Lucifer movement. Rolling his eyes, Michael grabbed the body and dragged it to the edge of the ravine with a surge of energy. Panting, he pushed it over the edge and watched it fall.

“I’ll tell you the name of mine if you tell me the name of yours,” Lucifer said, keeping his eyes on Michael.

“Dick Roman. I’d like to see Alastair Masters weasel his way out of a conviction without his fucking lawyer,” Michael panted, his eyes still looked down into the ravine.

“That’s one way to deal with the competition,” Lucifer muttered. He took another step away from Michael when Michael looked up at Lucifer in irritation. “Gordon Walker. This time was a little more personal, so forgive me for not going into the details.”

“This time? Got more bodies down there?” Michael asked, jerking his head to motion toward the ravine.

“We’ve all got skeletons in our closet,” Lucifer said, refusing to answer either way.

“That we do,” Michael said. Still panting, he walked his way over to a tree several feet away from the edge of the ravine and sat down, back against the tree trunk.

Lucifer remained where he stood for several moments. It wasn’t every day that he ran into someone during a dump run. Especially not someone who, if Lucifer was being totally honest with himself, Lucifer would be more than willing to bang if given the opportunity. Not that Gabriel ever  _ let _ Lucifer lie about the matter. Once Gabriel found out that Lucifer considered the D.A. someone worth sleeping with, Gabriel never let a day go by without badgering Lucifer about it.

“Raphael is not going to believe this,” Michael said, letting out a laugh.

“Should I be concerned?” Lucifer asked.

“No. Raphael is busy cleaning up the blood we freed from Dick’s body, so he’s just as likely to report you as I am,” Michael replied.

“Good. Because I’d hate to have to deal with Gabriel trying to hunt him down,” Lucifer snarked. Feeling more at ease now that it was clear he wouldn’t have to defend himself in any way, Lucifer walked over and sat down next to Michael. If they were going to have a killer-to-killer chat before one of them finally got the nerve to walk away, then Lucifer wanted to hold the conversation at a reasonable volume.

“Your own partner in literal crime?” Michael asked.

“Yes,” Lucifer confirmed.

“How fitting. We’re all angels,” Michael chuckled, pulling a laugh out of Lucifer. He turned his attention to Lucifer and let out a grin. “Though, that  _ would _ make me the one in charge.”

“Gabriel doesn’t even listen to his boyfriend. I don’t think you’d ever get him to listen to you,” Lucifer replied.

“Oh, really?” Michael asked. He moved onto his knees and shuffled the couple feet closer to Lucifer until they were face-to-face, giving Lucifer a smirk. “What about you, Officer Landerson? Do  _ you _ take orders?”

Lucifer’s mouth went dry as he noted that the look in Michael’s eye made it clear that his intentions weren’t as innocent as his question. Lucifer would be damned to hell if he didn’t jump on the opportunity in front of him, regardless of how much shit Gabriel was going to give him later. Lucifer could hear Gabriel already. ‘A body dump site is not a club for you to pick up flings!’

“I don’t know,  _ sir _ . I guess it would depend on the order,” Lucifer replied, leveling a stubborn look at Michael.

“We’ll start with ‘Remove your clothes’ and work from there,” Michael said. Before Lucifer could open his mouth to respond, Michael surged forward and pulled Lucifer into a heated kiss that was full of the tension the two of them had been feeling since they both realized they weren’t alone while body dumping.

‘Yeah, fuck Gabriel’s reaction,’ Lucifer thought as he weaved a hand into Michael’s hair to pull the lawyer closer. ‘I’ll deal with it later.’


End file.
